Friday, January 20, 2017

News from the Graylands 3


The merry season of Cripple Feast is upon us in jolly old Phaidecia!  Already Merry John, the beggar that hangs around the Ten of Wands Inn, has reunited his old vassals to form the Merry Men!  Merry John is looking for a second term as the Cripple King and his followers have already donned their usual, multipointed, rust red, hats and are looking for trouble!  So pick up a local beggar, start a militia, and don paper mache hats in a festive color to represent your new liege!

As a part of the holiday season, though the Church strictly forbids the practice of pagan Cripple Feast in favor of Moreclocksday, the celebration of the Church's perpetual quest to put clocks everywhere, it does hold a spectacularly festive event that all members of the clergy and believers of the 3rd Cog Rank and above can participate in.  The Song of the Fallen Leviathan is an event in which the most beautiful hymns of the Church are sung and a ritual is performed that summons a real angel!  So don your magenta robes and CooCoo hats and come on down to the Ticking Cathedral!

A whisper flies upon a chilly northern wind through the ancient boughs of the Grymwald.  The word from some woodsmen is that Skrain's fortress, long abandoned, is now occupied once more!  Some claim the Ancient Bane of the Saints has returned.  Others think it is just bandits and hysterical reporting has greatly diminished the trust of the people in the media.  Farmer Jared seems to think that Faerie creatures from Hell have dragged Skrain's soul, kicking and screaming from the pit to serve their weird purposes.  What a nutjob.

In other news, an odd patch of greenery has appeared on the Forbidden Isle.  Observers say that the newly appeared grove seems to surrounded in a perpetual twilight and that many animals, including some not native to this area or dimension, have begun to frolic about it.  As you know, dear readers, frolicking is strictly forbidden by the Wands under penalty of complete and instantaneous body hair removal so I do hope these animals watch themselves.

The Church has officially offered up a reward of 100 gold for anyone willing to destroy that center of pagan worship known as the Cave of Secrets near the Chaotic city of Punjar.  It is rumored that they have made this decision because a number of the cities elite have been secretly visiting the cave, encouraging heresy amongst the upper echelons of our society!  Go to a church for more information.

The Legions of the Raven have begun their siege of the Crusader fortress-city of Thrandhelm.  It is said that a new sorcerer has risen up to lead the hoards of Chaos against the Crusader Kings of Law.  His Majesty Bran Thrand IX, the Giant of the Graylands, raised a flabby arm to reporters to report, mouth full of small crustaceans, that there was nothing to worry about.  "Afterall they are just barbarians!"  He said spewing tiny carapaced legs and spicy red sauce.

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