The Ballad of Flank Cottontongue

One of my players for the Wastes game composed a song for his write-up and said I could put it here! I have done so without editing it because it is already great.  Thanks to Jozo for letting me post this!

This is the beautiful story of how one half-orc ranger assisted in abducting a lizard wizard from a train to bring him back to the party's employer.  They had to defend themselves from more lizardfolk.  Then they arrived at the home of the Jester king where this half-orc got in a brawl with another orc and was about to have a cool bonding experience with this orc before Grem, the mysterious right-hand man of the Jester King, cast a spell, killing the orc for his weakness.  The ranger stood to fight Grem but was also spelled away into a mysterious portal, leading to places unknown...

This is his story.

THE BALLAD OF FLANK COTTONTONGUE

From places of vague origins

And into a desert of sins

In strode a child

Who’s manners were mild

The lad known as Flank Cottontongue!

With bow readily strung

And voice that makes song

He entered a place full of evil

But with a company of gods

Employed by dark sick frauds

We began to quell this upheaval.

With shouts of great wrath

And threats with arrow shaft

A lizard folk was made very clear

He would stand and be still

Act only as the hostage fill

The caravan was beginning to steer.

But after the transit

Running, mounts and bandits

To come and take back their wizard

But little did they know

They’d be shrouded in iron snow

In a Volley! An arrow blizzard.

Fellow ranger cerebrim fired in tandem

And escha the bard supported with anthem

And aedan the druid standing stalwart and fluid

And Grey with his gun, a sight that could stun!

The saviors of Flank Cottontongue!

And after the road came upon our run down mansion

And the heros strode in, reptile in aprehension

But there would be, no shame for thee!

It is the will of Flank Cottontongue!

And in claiming our bounty

We began joyous counting,

But plotting and honor came along

Cerebrim saving maidens

Would have to come latent

For now was not a time to strike

But with this new patience it would come some night

And flank failing in his orcish might…

A demoness came walking in…

And she took over for him

With unparalled prowess

She whopped goblin awsses

Introduction were made

And foundations were laid

For ending the mad men’s whim

Flank had to grow up, it was time to buck up

He struck up duel with onyx brother

And oh many expected a loser yet another

But he was determined and his plan oh so clear

This would be the combat to sum up his years!

So with athletic and bold proficiency

He tied up the brute to make him sleepy ;)!

And a coup de grah came

The dark skin was made lame

But lover would not finish with a slain

And they saught to be friends

Blood brothers to the end

But the jester desired a twisted fate

And as the Man passed his last breath

And Flank came charging against his companions behest

It teleported to the end, of the ballad…

Of Flank Cottontongue