Rumors and News from Whispershire: Issue 1

In the aftermath of the wildest party ever to sweep through Whispershire like an ocean of debauchery, regrettable sexual encounters, and all-around-bad-choices, dwarven artisans, newly released from their long slumber in a distant underground complex and one very frightening, horned, red-skinned, woman have awakened to discover that they had built an entire temple to a five faced god of indulgence and pleasure! Local religious leaders and theologians have taken to scratching their heads and going: "Hmmm? What? How? Who?" To no one in particular.

Labor disputes on the rise! Local guilds have unleashed a torrent of grievances upon the Office of the Mayor and the Noble Parliament concerning the recent massive influx of highly skilled dwarven laborers. Red-eyed bureaucrats, sipping from cups of chamomile said in a whiney whisper, "Can you guys keep it down with the questions? A lot of us are still trying to recover, you know? Geeze, like doesn't anyone care how we feel? Geeze..."

In other news, a rain of balled up notes escaped over the walls of the quarantine zone! These desperate pleas for help say that the Brothers of Mercy are considering purging the zone and there are countless innocents within that will be killed as a consequence. When asked about the situation, the Chaplain-Commander of the Brothers of Mercy fixed reporters with a long hard stare from behind is beaked white mask until the gathered press withered before his gaze and fled.

A production of the theologically confusing play and puppet-performance: Evangenises, a play based off the heretical rumor that our Divine Empress piloted her massive Titans with depressed adolescents, has been delayed, according to producer Evangelista White, due to the appearance of a phantasm! Stagehands report seeing a gangly-limbed, masked creature with needles sticking off the ends of its fingers. White told reporters, "This creature is known to us in the theatrical community! It is a portent of grave accidents and bad reviews! The show will not go on until it is expelled! We are offering a generous fee to any that would remove it!" She then proceeded to rapidly thrown salt over her shoulders and cross her eyes and fingers in some ward against evil for thesbians.

And finally, reports have been coming from surrounding towns, especially Warren's Port, that winged, place creatures have begun appearing all throughout the countryside, sneaking behind barns and walking slowly through fields. Greg Turner,(you know, the turnip salesman?) told reporters about an encounter he had with the strange creatures: "It came right up to my door at an ungodly hour! It was knocking at about 3AM! Can you imagine? Can't a guy and his beautiful wife get some sleep without having to worry about otherworldly horrors knocking on our door? There should be a law against it!
Well anyway, I got my knife and opened the door a smidge. This big bat-like creature with this awful empty smile and eye-sockets, dressed in a form-fitting black suit lifted up this briefcase with his horrible long fingers and offered me some protein bars! Now what in all the hells, is a protein bar I ask you? We ain't no big city types with their fad diets and fringe politics! What was I saying? Oh yeah, he also asked me if I had heard tales of an immensely powerful wizard by the name of Sezrekan? If such a character had popped up recently? I said no, sir, I know no one by that description. He gave me his card, a black shimmering thing that just says Hollow Corp in stark white text and told me to call him if I heard anything! Then, he was gone! Not before offering me some sports shake mix, though! That vile creature! How does he expect me to call him anyway?! It's not like..." Mr. Turner continued talking as reporters slowly backed away.