The Ballad of Flank Cottontongue

One of my players for the Wastes game composed a song for his write-up and said I could put it here! I have done so without editing it because it is already great.  Thanks to Jozo for letting me post this!

This is the beautiful story of how one half-orc ranger assisted in abducting a lizard wizard from a train to bring him back to the party's employer.  They had to defend themselves from more lizardfolk.  Then they arrived at the home of the Jester king where this half-orc got in a brawl with another orc and was about to have a cool bonding experience with this orc before Grem, the mysterious right-hand man of the Jester King, cast a spell, killing the orc for his weakness.  The ranger stood to fight Grem but was also spelled away into a mysterious portal, leading to places unknown...

This is his story.

Image result for orc bard

THE BALLAD OF FLANK COTTONTONGUE
From places of vague origins
And into a desert of sins
In strode a child
Who’s manners were mild
The lad known as Flank Cottontongue!
With bow readily strung
And voice that makes song
He entered a place full of evil
But with a company of gods
Employed by dark sick frauds
We began to quell this upheaval.
With shouts of great wrath
And threats with arrow shaft
A lizard folk was made very clear
He would stand and be still
Act only as the hostage fill
The caravan was beginning to steer.
But after the transit
Running, mounts and bandits
To come and take back their wizard
But little did they know
They’d be shrouded in iron snow
In a Volley! An arrow blizzard.
Fellow ranger cerebrim fired in tandem
And escha the bard supported with anthem
And aedan the druid standing stalwart and fluid
And Grey with his gun, a sight that could stun!
The saviors of Flank Cottontongue!
And after the road came upon our run down mansion
And the heros strode in, reptile in aprehension
But there would be, no shame for thee!
It is the will of Flank Cottontongue!
And in claiming our bounty
We began joyous counting,
But plotting and honor came along
Cerebrim saving maidens
Would have to come latent
For now was not a time to strike
But with this new patience it would come some night
And flank failing in his orcish might…
A demoness came walking in…
And she took over for him
With unparalled prowess
She whopped goblin awsses
Introduction were made
And foundations were laid
For ending the mad men’s whim
Flank had to grow up, it was time to buck up
He struck up duel with onyx brother
And oh many expected a loser yet another
But he was determined and his plan oh so clear
This would be the combat to sum up his years!
So with athletic and bold proficiency
He tied up the brute to make him sleepy ;)!
And a coup de grah came
The dark skin was made lame
But lover would not finish with a slain
And they saught to be friends
Blood brothers to the end
But the jester desired a twisted fate
And as the Man passed his last breath
And Flank came charging against his companions behest
It teleported to the end, of the ballad…

Of Flank Cottontongue

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