1d100 Weird Religions/Gods

Who is your god? (1d100):

1. A cult that worships a sleeping god. The cultists believe they can attain enlightenment through dreams.
2. A cult that consumes the rotting corpse of a dead god, growing increasingly mutated as a consequence.
3. A widespread faith in the god of crops, soil, and the earth. They believe their bodies must be returned to the soil to descend to the afterlife.
4. A city that constantly strives to feed a hungry, picky god.
5. The carrion goddess of fungus and crows. Worshipped by the rot fae of Autumn.
6. A goddess of pain and torment. Her worshippers torture each other to revel in the power of suffering.
7. A god of deserts and pleasure. His cult creates candy sex golems.
8. A ravenous goddess of fertility and love. Her blessing is annual insane orgies.
9. A religion of deformity and aberration, worshipping a gigantic worm.
10. The blooming flower of peace. All that come to the Lotus Temple find their memories wiped clean of suffering.
11. A warped cathedral city that worships Dracula as the Antichrist.
12. The word was made flesh! Wiggling, screaming flesh! Partake of the blinking, breathing bread of life!
13. The tea is life. The Tea Master will bring us release from the cycle of rebirth.
14. The Grand Church of the Skewered Goose denies your heresy! Our god is far more than "just a poked bird!"
15. He of Many Eyes always watches, my child. Take comfort in his unblinking stare.
16. The goddess of wealth welcomes all into her church.. except you. You didn't pay your entry fees.
17. Cease your blasphemy! Our god is not just a hungry, living pit! Now be silent before we feed you to it!
18. A god that haunts the shadows of the towering woods. The village feeds it their children. Those that it does not eat are made its eternal servants. 
19. Each one carves his own idol. These little gods become animate in the arena, fighting to become the supreme deity.
20. Our god is three persons: each a child stacked on the other, concealed in the holy trenchcoat.
21. The worshippers put on masks possessed by their many gods to perform a great dance each season.
22. The mother of roses and witchcraft. Served by covens of glamour witches.
23. The one who watches from the mirror. He guards of the paths through the Veiled World. Do not pass through without his blessing!
24. Our Lady of Pots contains all we need!
25. A cult that worships a vampiric god. They have a fountain of stolen youth that they use to prolong their lives.
26. A cult that worships the brood mother of an insectoid alien race.
27. The Crystal Priests interpret the humming of the glowing crystal said to be a shard of a god.
28. The Read Death decimated the land. Is it any wonder that some came to revere it as an angel of death or even a god in its own right?
29. The Man in Black tallies the deeds of the dead. He is worshipped by coffin makers and gravediggers.
30. The Temple is more than the house of god. Its undulating musculature is his very flesh!
31. A god of pirates and sea storms, worshipped by scallywags and eldritch cultists.
32. A many tendriled god with thousands of unblinking eyes. Its cultists plan on awakening it from its long slumber.
33. Purple Patty reminds us all to drink Purple Burple Cola! Here drink of the holy nectar of our smiling goddess!
34. Our god is a smiling god! Believe in your perfect self, reflected in his many perfect teeth.
35. The Nameless Ones await in the shadowy realm beyond death. They await the great noise of the universe to be replaced by endless silence.
36. The Black Sun will bring the end of the world. The Black Sun will consume our pitiful star and rule the world in its dark light.
37. He sails the endless seas of time. His beard is full of stars. His eyes are full of flame. Beware the Fisher King. Beware his terrible sadness. Worship before his infinite sorrow.
38. The Golden Barge hauls the sun across the sky, driven by the Immaculate Pilot. The faithful must ensure that the Shining Gates are ready for his passage.
39. The sun is the Divine Egg. One day it will hatch, letting loose a new pantheon that will perfect the work of the old, dead gods.
40. Each star in the heavens is a god. The followers of this faith believe first and foremost in discovering the names of each and every star with pseudomathematical equations drawn from their holy texts.
41. Our steel god howls over immaculate rails with his unblinking shining eye and grinding wheels. None may attempt to touch his holy chassis. 
42. The Chaste Whore is the protector of virgins and prostitutes. This is not seen as a paradox by her followers.
43. The Fractured Unity's many pieces are scattered across its followers. The Head acts as a kind of pope over the rest of the church. Each new follower must be examined to determine which new part they are. They have to use individual cells to keep up with the demand, now.
44. The Obsidian Mask is worn by each new head of the Obsidian Church. An ancient devil possesses whoever wears the mask, leading them to complete the rituals necessary begin the End Times.
45. Mother of Pestilence and Rats. The plague-bearing rats are her blessing to the world. She is worshipped by assassins, gong-farmers, ratcatchers, and the makers of poisons.
46. The Pond of Palordin speaks divine riddles in the buzzing of insects and the croaking of frogs, revealing mysteries of the universe in the gentle drifting of fireflies above its surface, reflecting the myriad stars above.
47. The God of Clowns and Funerals. His domain is gallows humor and is worshiped by executioners, jesters, and gravediggers alike.
48. The Lady of the Lake reveals the King's Sword to those that are worthy. Blade Pilgrims come from all over to be deemed worthy of the sword and, therefore, the throne.
49. The Ghost Queen, Lady Banshee. Her gaping maw is the gates to the underworld. Those that have properly plugged their ears before death will be able to withstand her screams and therefore enter paradise. 
50. Arcanus is actually the non-corporeal form of an ascendant wizard. He is worshiped by wizards and those that seek to transcend mortality.
51. Ben the Pooned One. This shark of sorrows is scoured with harpoons. His followers are especially fanatic. He is friends with He of the Dark Cloak, god of democracy.
52. The Porcelain Prince. This is actually a pseudo-lich with a polybody. Each follower is just another member of the polybody.
53. The Drowned Maiden guards over the watery passages the drowned take into the underworld. Those that worshipped her might be "saved" though they might have preferred to stay dead.
54. The Deathless One is the god of cancer. Followers expect to be spared from death but they are actually spared from cell death.
55. The Eye of Silence. Within the eye of the storm, it is said you might meet the true eye of the storm. The faithful chase storms in order to have a chance at a divine meeting.
56. The Gardener watches over all the forests of the world. This is a faith mostly followed by druids and actual gardeners.
57. The Doom from Below. The dwarves dug too deep and unleashed evil into their mountain homes. Rather than fleeing or being destroyed some bowed down in worship.
58. She of the Painted Face. Goddess of illusion and beauty. Worshipped by prostitutes, queens, and barmaids.
59. The World Mother. The earth is her womb, preparing to birth her god-child.
60. The Bottomless Pit. Its followers toss things down it and say "See? See? Bottomless!" to passersby.
61. The Bone Rattler. She is the goddess of old ladies that roll the bones to foretell dooms in back alleys. It is a specific niche to be sure.
62. The Judgemental Tower. It watches from afar and booms "DO BETTER!"
63. The Beast in the Blood. The followers drink of the holy blood of the Elder Thing that they might transform into the beast within.
64. The Lady of the Moon, Queen of Cats, Baroness of the Sea of Caprice.  
65. The Many Voiced Lord of the Twisting Netherchasm. His followers take copious amounts of hallucinogenic drugs to provoke a divine encounter.
66. The Sultan in Brass. King of Ifrits. Ruler of the Brass City. Known for throwing massive parties.
67. The Wolf Queen: Mother of All Wolves. Worshipped by amazons and those that traverse the frozen wastes.
68. Bantobarakism. The Prophet Bantobarak spoke of a great future led by a master race, resulting from the perfect mixture of specific races. It's adherents regularly attempt and argue over different combinations.
69. Nice. Goddess of the Extremely Immature.
70. Rakorkism is a faith dedicated to the devil, Rakor, whose human avatar has supposedly supplied advancements to every people, stealing secrets from the vaults of heaven.
71. Sidilanism. Sidilan, the final prophet, saw the grand truth of heaven in a stone which he placed in his hat. This grand truth involved him having myriad wives.
72. Nesfu. A religion of peace, harmony, and blood magic. Many fear the Blood Speaker-Monks. And rightly so.
73. The Absent God. He's not in at the moment but his angels can take a message.
74. Kubla Kahn, god of laudanum, pleasure domes, holy rivers, and romantic caverns.
75. The Eternal Urn. It is the unchangeable beauty. All desire to be one with its stillness even though it means parting from the world of change which is life.
76. The West Wind. God of destruction and remembrance. Its followers yearn to be one with its eternal destructive flow.
77. Rocinante, god of donkeys and impossible dreams. Followed by fools and wannabe knights.
78. The Loyal Hound. Its loyalty shall not stop death nor the end of all things but it shall be noble as it faces the end.
79. The Pale King and his Scarlet Bride watch over the deep roads of the earth where their children the blind salamanders, live.
80. The Opulescent Queen of the Silver Throne. Goddess of all that glimmers which is not gold. Miners hate or love her.
81. The Speaker of the Dark Scripture interprets the eldritch words of the Elder Gods. Followers yearn to listen to his rumbling recitation though it often results in madness and death.
82. The Good Mother, goddess of the mundane, hospitality, and folk magic. Worshipped by mothers and village wise women.
83. The Father of the False Tower. God of expectations set too high.
84. The Winged Watcher in the Night. God of vigilantes and justice. Often worshipped by revolutionaries.
85. The Friendly Old Woman. Goddess of opera, the arts, and household tasks. He angels help the faithful with chores.
86. Fear and love him! Fear and love the Fingercounter! Dwarf-god of the underdog, equality, and envy leading to resentment.
87. The Furies are the oath keepers, the guardians of hospitality, the takers of rightful vengeance. Their followers are often vigilante beserkers, hunting down those that have broken their oath or defied the laws of hospitality.
88. Dentulon, god of teeth, calcium, and scurvy. 
89. The Weeping Child, guardian of orphans. She takes in children that have been left to die of exposure by their parents and turns them into her children.
90. One-Eye, the Gray Wanderer, Bard of the Songs of Grief, Lord of the Honored Dead. Served by wizards and warriors alike.
91. Saint Elain is said to have preached in the dark tongues of the deep angels to the birds, creating ravens.
92. Saint Vormis the Neverborn was thought to have died in birth but she crawled forth from her shallow grave and was taken in by a friendly priest. She is Saint of the Aborted Child and those that die young, saving their unbaptized souls from damnation.
93. Saint Gremkin was a Gremlin, who preached to the rest of his kind to convince them to fix rather than sabotage, thus giving birth to the Brownie race.
94. Saint Obregon the Barrel Priest. He rowed in a barrel one day to bring the good news to the heathen barbarians across the sea. He was killed on the shore. He is the saint of hopeless but noble causes.
95. Saint Ekrimma of the Plague Crusade. She was infected with a lethal plague and went to minister to the others in the quarantined. Rather than dying within the wall of that diseased place, she led the other infected to fight against the besieging heathens. They all died, but the enemy endured a slow and terrible death at the hands of the plague.
96. Saint Anise the Dreaming Nun. In her sleep, she muttered divine portents that predicted the disaster that would befall her home city. Thousands were saved because of her sleep-prophesy. 
97. Saint Etrikorn was an elf who brought the word to others of his kind. The elves were notoriously difficult to convert, but a few harsh prophesies about the end of days spoken in the annihilating tongue of the iron angels turned them right around, giving rise to the Pale Elves who made excellent Zealot-Assassins for the church.
98. Saint Calegar turned to stone to endure the flames of the dragon Gezzentir. His body endured the dragon's ire for twelve days with the help of the divine before the drake, in awe of this power settled to hear the word, thus making him the first dragon convert.
99. Saint Elephor the Slowdying. The heathen crucified him, but he would not die. For one hundred days he screamed with such ferocious agony that the whole city could hear his screams and none could bear it anymore. They let him off the cross, repented, and converted on the spot. Shortly thereafter he collapsed and died.
100. Saint Belkagor the Heretic Saint. He preached such profane heresies in the gatherings of heretics that many of the heretics were so horrified by his blasphemies that they repented of their heresey and rejoined the church. He continued his accidental good work until the day he died and, much to what would have been his own displeasure, was canonized.