Weirdos and Wonder: You Require Additional Weirdos! (4 Elves and a Mork)

Mork (Man Ork):

HD: 1d8, Reroll Might. AB: +1 with clubs and maces.

Saving Throws: Boon to saves involving physical strength

Man Ork origins are often muddled and confused. Some say they are the result of wizardly genetic tampering. Others say their origin lies in Ork plundering and rape. Other's claim Orkism is a mutation on a spectrum and some just end up with less of it. Regardless, Morks are often used as bouncers and bodyguards, noted for their ability to intimidate. The sad thing is that Morks really are good at making people scared. This does not at all help people look beneath the surface to see them for who they are.

Inner Beauty (Roll 1d6)
  1. You are a skilled artist with a keen eye for beauty. (A sketchbook and pencils)
  2. You are a deeply sensitive soul with a great amount of empathy that you are forced to hide. (A diary you write in every day)
  3. You are a very well read bookworm, easily quoting great authors to humans who don't care. (1d4 precious works of fiction worth 5gp each)
  4. You have a mind attuned to the workings of logic and mathematics. (An abacus) 
  5. You have a green thumb and a great knowledge and care for plants and the natural world. (A trowel)
  6. You are actually as bad as you seem. (you get nothing, you monster.)
Gear: Whatever you get from your Inner Beauty roll.

A Menacing Spiked Cudgel (1d6+1)

A Purse full of 5gp from jobs in the business of intimidation. 

Spiky Leather Armor Meant to be Intimidating (2 AC)

Abilities: Grim Visage (Might): Creatures that can see and hear you with HD equal to or less than your's lose 1 Morale.

Disorienting Blow (Might): If you strike a humanoid without a helmet over the head, you may deal 1d4 additional damage and the target must make a Mind Save or gain Disadvantage on Attacks and Saves for 1d4 rounds.

Elf Bravo

HD: 1d8, Reroll Agility. AB: +1 with swords.

Saving Throws: Boon to saves involving dodging or acrobatics.

Strutting along the canals and alleys of elven ports, these young elves duel for honor, boast for glory, and compose poetry for love. It might also be said that they are a bunch of drunken rapacious louts with ego problems, however, their decision to put on the veil of the ancient rites of elven chivalry ensnares them in the Winds of Story, those magical narrativistic forces which more keenly effect elves than other folk. This means ridiculous oaths must be kept, including exile in the face of defeat. Thus elven bravos, quite against their will find themselves going into basically self-imposed exile until they can regain their honor.

Gear: Rapier (1d6)

Padded Clothing (2 AC)

Buckler (+1 AC)

A Token of a Lady's Favor (Equal possibility of it being a handkerchief or undergarments)

A purse of a few spare coppers (25 cp)

Abilities: Present yourself before my Lady! (Luck): When you best a foe in combat but spare their life, you may command them to do something and they must do it, no matter what it is.

Duel me, coward! (Luck): You may challenge a foe to one on one combat. They may make a Mind Save to resist, otherwise, they must agree and all other creatures, including your allies, cannot interfere in the duel.

Elf Spell Blade

HD: 1d6, Reroll Agility, AB: +1 with swords.

Saving Throws: Boon to saves against messing up your anime hairstyle. And resisting combat manuevers.

Look out for bandage wrapped hands, curved swords held backward, excessive numbers of straps, and a dark brooding expression that can only be achieved by someone trying way too hard. If you see these signs, you know you have found an edgy boi Elven Spell Blade.

Gear: Curved Sword (1d6)

Clothing with excessive numbers of straps and pockets (1 AC)

Cool amulet of protection possessed by the soul of your murdered sensei who was also secretly your father and also a demon (+2 AC)

Extra Strength Hairgel (Costco Sized)

Abilities: Teleports Behind You (Mind): Teleport behind a creature you can see within 30ft.

"I'm sorry, master, but I must go all out, just this once..." (Free): You can make a free combat maneuver each round.

Wannabe Elf

HD: 1d4, Reroll Luck.

Saving Throws: Boon to maintain your delusion of elven superiority.

You aren't really an elf, despite what you tell your parents all the time. "My name isn't Joel, Dad! It's Aeofel!" You are enamored with all things elf, you constantly tell everyone how much more advanced, graceful, and socially progressive elves are over simple bumbling humans. You learned Elvish with Rosetta Stone and from watching elf cartoons. Everyone hates you, elf and human alike.

Gear: Traditional Elven Garb (0 AC)

An "Elven Sword" that you got from an "Elven Culture" Store at the mall (1d4, breaks on a Crit Fail)

Elf Body Pillow

Fake Elf Ears

Abilities: The Legolas Run (Agility): You look ridiculous, but you do get 10ft more speed for a round.

Invoke Pity (Luck): You make the battle stances and shout the war cries from your favorite elf cartoon. Enemies must make a Mind Save or feel pity for you, ignoring you in favor of other foes.

Elf Nightblade

HD: 1d6, Reroll Agility. AB: +1 with daggers and swords.

Saving Throws: Boon to avoiding traps.

For such a progressive society, elves have a reputation for their frequent use of assassination, so much so that there is an entire class of people dedicated to the pursuit. Wannabe Elves are cut down the middle between wanting to be Nightblades and Spell Blades.

Gear: Padded Clothing (2 AC)

Dual Daggers (2d4)

Smoke Bombs (10ft of dense smoke, 1d6 Usage Die)

Abilities: "I have a very specific set of skills." (Free): You get a Boon to stealth and movement checks.

Sneak Attack (Free): When you make an attack from stealth, you triple your damage.


  1. Replies
    1. Yeah I mean this game's implied setting is more of a joke than anything else. It could be cool and probably serviceable for a silly campaign but it is pretty horrible.


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