Weirdways: 1d20 Road Encounters in Weird Fantasy America

Original Post here.

The road is a harsh mistress, the kind of woman you always talk about leaving but never manage to get out the door before you notice rose petals leading off into the bedroom, and you think, "Maybe just a little longer..."

You'll think that over and over again.

For every delight she offers, there are ten thousand pains. She'll feed you one night and leave you hungry the next. You'll win the jackpot only to lose it all. You'll see beauties like you can't imagine and horrors you'll never forget.

But those damn rose petals keep calling you back...

1d20 Road Encounters:

1. The radio cuts out, pops, and hisses. A bomb siren blares over the Wander Wave radio as a voice says: "THE DRAGON IS COMING." A roar shakes the sky like thunder. A silver dragon with red eyes swoops down to attack a nearby truck.

2. Large winged creatures ridden by hooded figures attack and attempt to carry away a truck. The driver calls for help over the radio.

3. Mad Max wannabes, the Blood Thraka Spleen Squishers, drive toward the party. A lizardman with a harpoon gun rides on a truck equipped with a giant gnashing shark maw. A one-armed troll controls a gigantic claw arm on the top of the truck. Two goblins on motorcycles throw hooks attached to a winch on the truck to pull in victims. They are also planning to participate in the Burning Man Death Race.

4. The Wild Hunt, three wraith riders on skeletal horses, four hulking white wolves with blood-red eyes, two of which are hooked up to a great black chariot driven by the Dread King Arawn, a crown of green flame above his antlered helm. They are hunting someone in the party.

5. An old hippie van that is actually a mimic. Transforms to have a big toothy maw and many many limbs.

6. An absolutely enormous gelatinous cube. Looks like cars are just floating inside. Actually eats gasoline and has kind of a gasoline shimmer. Highly flammable as a consequence.

7. A gigantic pirate ship on huge monster truck wheels, captained by Greenbeard and his goblin crew. The cannons fire goblins at their prey. 

8. A flying saucer appears above the van. A tractor beam begins pulling the van up towards it.

9. A hill giant is taking a nap across the road.

10. A black pudding lies across the road, looking like a puddle of dark water. It will try to consume the van.

11. A sentient predatory storm cloud begins following the van and attacking with bolts of lightning and sending down hail.

12. A gigantic purple worm explodes from the earth, threatening to swallow the van.

13. An RV, totally covered in “Jesus Saves” is leaving behind such a noxious cloud of magical drug smoke in its wake that the land is exploding with random magical effects and the party begins to hallucinate.

14. A massive traffic jam blocks the way forward, adding 1d4 hours to your trip to your next destination. You are blocked in on all sides by angry people, inching along. But something else is in this labyrinth of automobiles with you. You can see up ahead, as a spatter of scarlet fills the inside of a Volkswagen Bug. Something fast and deadly is coming towards you, killing as it goes. You might want to run.

15. A bridge up ahead is being attacked by a giant enemy crab. Kaiju Containment Services are already on the way but there are a lot of people on that bridge.

16. A road mimic poses as an exit ramp. Its tail has become a neon sign saying: “Free Booze!”

17. A procession of steampunk road pirates, Captain Top Hat’s Magnificent Circus of Industrial Dreams, are riding two fire spouting elephant automatons and two hot air balloons as they attack the party. They are also on the way to Burning Man.

18. 3d6 dwarf bikers, the Iron Sons, start harassing the Van. They will go into attack mode at the first sign of aggression. They are all packing chains and hooks.

19. One of Helios’ giant immortal Sun Bulls, rampages through the road, pursued by spear-wielding goblins riding wargs.

20. An actual tank from the Wizard Wars, stolen by gnome highwaymen, the Cotton Cloud Commandos. It has been painted with clouds, unicorns, and rainbows. It is supremely magically resistant and is mounted with a chain gun in addition to its main cannon. The gnomes are completely vicious despite their adorableness. They will probably eat the party after they kill them. Yep, they are going to Burning Man.