TRAINS! TRAINS! TRAINS!

My adventure with Hubris inspired me to write something about trains. It seems to me that trains provide a few things that your average dungeon does not. First, trains come with a fair amount of cultural baggage that makes them different from the dungeon. The train speaks of the Wild West, of murders, of world travel, or mysterious assortments of people shoved into tight spaces.  The adventure is a different flavor. I am sure you know what I mean, but excuse me if I muse about why this feeling is so different.

For one, the train is in motion. This might seem immaterial but I think it is anything but. The dungeon is dark, dank, stuck in time, separate from the ongoing progression of history: an artifact of a mysterious antiquity. Caution is suggested as the dark corners hold traps, monsters, and the remnants of a past made alien by its distance from the present. The train is remarkably in the now, even reaching into the future. It is motion, the events of the world animate it, the progression of civilization is its reason for existence.

Another difference is that the dungeon is spatially isolated. If it ever bends its boundaries, it is an invader into the world of the real. It is an other world.  The train takes the outside world into itself and moves through it. It is a microcosm of the rest of the world.  People and events are shoved into a small space. Fundamentally, the train is interconnectedness, revealing a world which is not so large as we once thought it was.

Second, the train is practically different in some interesting ways. It is linear in some ways and not so linear in others. You can only really go two directions, forward or back, but you can approach any individual car in three ways. You can go through the cabin, over the roof, or on the side. There is another way, around the back, but it involves two of the other previously mentioned ways. This changes how a player thinks about space in interesting ways. On one hand, you might skip cabins. On the other hand, the cabins provide a certain amount of safety from whatever might be outside.

You can treat a train more like a standard dungeon, mostly separated from the rest of the world or you can have your adventure take place on a living vehicle.  Here are some tables to help to either of those ends:

The Train as Dungeon (1d10):

1. After the ancient apocalypse, the archeology train and its undead riders continued to gather together artifacts of antiquity, bringing aboard countless cursed artifacts and trapping any guardians that came with.
2. Like a serpent eating its own tail, this train has no beginning or end. The cars circle around and around containing many rooms, holding monsters in each cabin set as though ready to receive any to come and slay them. No matter how many times they are slain, new monsters will replace the old, bearing new magical items. Adventurers that take advantage of the suspiciously balanced encounters to gather more treasure will find themselves losing their humanity, completely consumed by greed and the glee of finding something new. Adventurers that have totally been overtaken by this greed will roam the cars, completely covered in dangerous magical items, attacking anything they find in an endless search for loot.
3. Two neighboring villages have already been destroyed. All that is left of their attacker is a line of obsidian-black rails. An ancient wizard, in an attempt to one-up his contemporary's tombs created for himself a roaming mausoleum, containing all of his experiments and creations. His cackling, flaming skull fuels the great engine.
4. After the madness descended on all the AI in an ancient corporate dystopia, this hover-rail carried the now-insane AI-driven toys and conveniences of this old world around the continent. Of course, these toys were designed to deliver subliminal messages to children in their sleep to buy more toys and quite a few contained assassination protocols to dispose of threats to the corporate overlords.
5. This demented Polar Express is piloted by elves driven mad after Santa's death. They travel about each night, abducting children in their sleep, with the intent to deliver them to the North Pole that they might join the mountain of child corpses at the decaying feet of Santa.
6. A Circus Train from the Nightmare Dimension howls its demonic whistle as it travels over mist-wreathed hills in the chill of the October night.
7. Everyone mysteriously awakens aboard a train. Noone knows exactly why they are there but a voice speaks through brass tubes around the train, taunting them as they progress through each new car, each one more deadly than the last.
8. Each car is a little world. Solve the world's problem and you can progress. Beware the things which hunt you. They are always just behind you.
9. The Fae think it is marvelous fun to "invite" mortals to join them on their marvelous train ride and like to put their guests through trials as a form of amusement for themselves.
10. The Meat Train was made from a giant's body. Unknown to its makers, the giant never truly died, slowly regenerating over the eons, integrating everything organic within into its being. Now permanently changed, all who meet their end in this pulsing tube of death become a part of its squelching mass.

Passenger Train Generator:

How long is it?:

Modern trains seem to have 132 50ft cars on average. This is obviously probably the result of advancement and has not always been the case, however, it is weirdly hard trying to find out specific information on how many cars early trains pulled. If realism is what you had in mind, your train might be around 50 cars. If you are looking to run a game, I honestly think 9-12is a reasonable number. That gives you a couple of passengers cars between your special cars and your cars from the events. The train can be as long as you like most players will not explore or care about a realistic number of cars.

If you want to start with a few special cars and work your way backward, roll 1d6 per special car, rerolling ones, and that is how many cars you have.

Each car ought to be 50ft long.

Train Locations (1d20):

1. The train is on the back of a giant fleshy worm that will one day awaken and nibble on the roots of the World Tree, beginning Ragnarok. It shifts slightly in its sleep, rocking the train.
2. The train flies through the ether between planes.
3. The train travels through an ancient subway, passing abandoned stations with rotting posters on the walls and still-stocked snack machines.
4. The train passes over a bridge built over the ocean. Great shadows stir beneath the waves.
5. The train travels through the caverns of the Under Dark. Glowing mushrooms and bizarrely elongated humanoid shapes can be seen outside.
6. The train passes over gently rolling hills of pink grass. The grass is acidic to the touch, resulting from an ancient biochemical weapon in a bygone war.
7. The hills are alive with the sound of breathing. Eyes blink on their great sides of this slowly respirating hills, watching the train go by.
8. A thin sheet of ice covers everything in the frozen wood. Those that depart from the warmth of the train soon find that even blood freezes and join the armies of the lurching frozen dead.
9. The train passes by pumpkin fields and apple orchards. Life in these hills is trapped permanently in the gentle chill of October.
10. Violet crystal mountains have grown from the graves of the Slumbering Ones. Their dreams and nightmares travel up the crystalline passageways sometimes manifesting on passings trains. They are often told to get off as none of them have purchased tickets.
11. This track is suspended over the endless industrial hellscape of a forgotten age. Smoke still rises from the ancient smokestacks. What is being built within?
12. The devil stalks the lost beneath the towering pines in the sunless forest.
13. A labyrinth whose walls are inscribed with strange sigils passes below. Something crawls through those jagged corridors.
14. Tall silhouettes inch through the grey marshes on skeletal limbs.
15. This is where the bomb dropped. Burning toxic maelstroms cloud the windows with a yellow haze. IT is down there: the only creature unlucky enough to survive the blast. IT has become a thing of pain and hate.
16. The Endless Cathedral spreads like a cancer over the earth. Whatever god was once worshipped within, the cathedral itself has become the object of worship: the temple which builds itself.
17. A red haze covers the sky. Trees with twisting limbs entwine above as if trying to block out the baleful light of the scarlet sky.
18. A pale light passes between the black bows of the twilight woods.
19. The golden grasses of the savanna pass the windows in a blur. The lonely trees seem to watch the train as it passes.
20. The sunset mesas outside are riddled with tunnels, like hives of red and orange stone. Their diggers are long forgotten. Some claim they yet live, deep in the honeycombs of rock.

Where is the train going/coming from? (1d20):

1. A city full of false promises. Disappointment is each new hopeful arrival's welcome gift.
2. A center of religious scholarship. Heresy is brutally punished but the poor are well taken care of.
3. A holy city. Many make pilgrimages to this site.
4. A tiered city. The gap between the poor and the rich is profoundly wide here. Whispers of revolution creep through the gutters.
5. Direct democracy rules this city. The parties campaign as if their lives depended on it. Their lives do depend on it.
6. The capital city of a rapidly expanding empire. People from many conquered or colonized nations can be found here.
7. This is our city. The government controls the means of production. Dissent is quickly silenced.
8. A mad king rules this city. The punishment for not wearing blue shoes every other Tuesday is being tickled to death.
9. A busy trade port. Goods and services pass freely through this town.
10. A mining town.
11. This is a truly good place! Keep smiling! Never stop smiling! They are watching.
12. A city of wizards. This is a chaotic place almost entirely populated by magical weirdos.
13. The site of a great university. Students come here from all over the world. Fringe politics abound.
14. An industrial revolution has taken off at a breakneck pace. Its iron wheels will crush anyone in the way.
15. A dirty medieval fortress-city. They guard against an enemy which many believe is a myth until they arrive.
16. A dwarven mountain-city. Valuable gems, metals, and beautifully crafted products enter and leave.
17. The elves have set this place as a meeting ground where they are willing to meet with mortal races.
18. A beautiful village of hardworking people.
19. The frontlines of an ongoing war.
20. No one quite knows where this train is going. They don't even really know how they got on it.

Engine Car (1d20):

1. The train is fueled by the fire of a chained dragon. The conductor whips it to force it to produce flame.
2. A mutant creature rapidly adjusts the many controls with its numerous arms.
3. The engine sparks with blue light as thin star-children burst to life from the sliver warped rocks in the coal car and gleefully hop into the roaring astral engine.
4. The front car is made in the shape of a great grinning goblin face. The car frequently catches fire and releases explosion as the many goblins squabble over the conductor's hat and toss explosives into the raging blaze int he engine, often falling in themselves.
5. The engine is a living, many-limbed creature with a terrifying smile.
6. The engine seems normal except that there is no conductor. The coal shovels itself and the controls function unattended.
7. The conductor mutters softly to himself about forgiveness as he shovels black goop into the scarlet fire.
8. Three children in a conductor's uniform struggle with the controls.
9. A great drill occupies the front of the train. Now it is used to clear debris from the track. Maybe it was once used to dig deep below the earth.
10. The great antlered conductor sings opera to himself as he shovels squirming black turtles from the coal car into a luminous yellow fire. The hatch of the engine has "Rachel" written on it in flowing brass.
11. The headless conductor scoops up black coal-spiders with a bronze grasping claw, throwing them into a green flame. His head criticises his every move from a stool nearby. 
12. Three dwarves sing a working song as they shovel gold ore into a gaping bearded face, crafted from bronze.
13. The conductor wears a smiling gold mask, gently adjusting nozzles, letting flow various alchemical fluids into the hissing alembic-engine.
14. A wizard-conductor and the bound demon in the engine fire exchange creative and eloquent insults. Both believe they hate each other, but they have developed a bond which resembles a profound friendship.
15. The singing of three triangle-headed, seven-winged angels fuels the shrine-engine. A man seems to stand within the white flame of this ornate apparatus.
16. The conductor controls the train with a mighty organ, notes bellow from the instrument loud enough to shake the tracks.
17. A divine bull of the Sun God poops into a trough in the coal car. This is collected as potent fuel for the engine by a golden-bull mask wearing conductor-priest.
18. A miniature star burns in the engine. A man in a full-brass suit keeps the star stable with a silver sphere on the end of a rod which delivers static charges to keep solar flares to a minimum.
19. Several green glowing crystals glow a baleful light within the engine. The conductor wears a hazmat suit, using tongues to replace the crystals which have gone dark. The spent crystals must be thrown into a lead container.
20. None may look upon the conductor. The engine car is a sealed mythril box. If any should see inside, they immediately die.

Most cars on a passenger train will be for riding or sleeping. Roll on this table for some of the weirder cars that might be in the mix. Roll at least three times. The bigger the train, the more special cars there ought to be.

Special Cars (1d20):

1. Sealed Car made of a mysterious metal, containing something of value. Both doors are locked and trapped.
2. Bath Car full of steam
3. Opium Den. Yooin Suin Tables might be useful
4. Casino Car.
5. Bar Car.
6. Storage Car full of pets and small exotic animal trade goods
7. Library Car. Could be full of cursed books or book mimics. The mutant librarian hates anyone being loud in her car.
8. Cattle Car.
9. Prison Car. The entire car is dedicated to one man if man is an appropriate term.
10. Brothel Car
11. Exotic Atmo Car. Transports creatures that require a wildly different atmosphere.
12. Beekeeping Car.
13. Meditation Car. The air is thick with incense.
14. Kitchen Car. The insane Brass Golem chef chucks infinite cleavers.
15. Meatgrinder Car. So that is where that meatloaf came from.
16. Escape Car. Turns into a hot air balloon. 
17. Poor/Slave Car. People are packed together here so tightly that some have died due to exhaustion or heat.
18. Guard Car. Whatever hired hands or automatons that defend the train are stored here.
19. Toy Car. This car is ostensibly filled with puppets and toys for children. The toys are so creepy that children fear being sent there as punishment. Some don't return.
20. Artifact Car. Numerous cursed artifact ride in sealed lockboxes.

Big important riders are included in the Events table. The common kind of weirdos that populate the rest of the train might be found here. Roll three times or any time the PCs enter a car and ask who is in it.

Who is Riding the Train? (1d20):

1. Mrs. Wickersham and her hundred diamond-collared cats, each with their own seats and silver feeding bowls of caviar.
2. Two extremely tired parents and their dozen rowdy children.
3. A crowd of easily offended religious zealots wearing peculiar traditional dress.
4. Homesick soldiers, drinking heavily as they make their way home to/from the front.
5. Bickering theologians on their way to a seminar.
6. A collection of rough and tumble industrial workers, drawn by rumors of plentiful employment.
7. Poultry Farmers transporting their goods.
8. Partying students on holiday, intolerably blathering about their time abroad.
9. Affluent businessmen on their way to a work retreat.
10. A lesser lord and his entourage. 
11. Stressed gnomes trying not to touch all of the metal around them.
12. Mysterious hooded strangers, things squirm beneath their robes.
13. A troupe of actors on their way to a performance for an important ruler.
14. Smoking artists, poets, and writers that practically live on this train.
15. Dwarven Miners, drinking their cares away on the road to sell the haul of a lifetime.
16. Hauty Elves. "Our business is our own, mortal."
17. A Girl's Preparatory School field trip led by a stern nun and her smacking rod.
18. Masked Wizards that speak in hand gestures.
19. A single very lonely man. If approached, this man will assault you with an endless tirade of conspiracy theories.
20. Hippies, folk musicians, and artsy types sit in drum circles and smoke hallucinogens.

Lots of things ought to be happening in a train adventure. Roll at least three times. 

Events (1d20):

1. Orcs attack! Roll 1d4: 1) Diesel Punk Cyborgs 2) Chimeric Abominations 3) Vat-grown soldiers from WWIV 4) Dinosaurs
2. Slinger-Ninjas hunt down a Princess who is on her way to an important arranged marriage. 50% chance that their leader is her secret lover.
3. Two incredibly competent cyborg bounty hunters, a man and his ex-wife, compete to claim the bounty on an important passenger.
4. Ghost Indians attack. The track was built over their graves.
5. A powerful magical figure transports an artifact of power in a sealed car. A powerful guardian lies in wait within.
6. An important political figure rides aboard as do a group of disguised assassins intent on killing him.
7. The chef put an odd ingredient into the desserts that has been turning passengers into the thralls of a malevolent virulent hivemind.
8. Murder most foul. The PCs are suspects.
9. A mummy rides aboard the train in a sealed sarcophagus. Passengers claim to see it when no one else can, dying shortly thereafter.
10. Out of a peculiar sealed car, people emerge wearing odd hats and too-wide smiles, cheerfuly inviting people back to see this amazing thing they found.
11. Snakes on a Train.
12. A werewolf rides the train, having miscalculated his timing, the full moon will shine on the train sometime during the trip.
13. A group of intrepid explorers has a map to a lost city. They are followed by agents of a despotic government, intent on stealing the map.
14. A powerful magical figure rides aboard with a car all to themselves. They are sick, causing their powers to spontaneously effect passengers Roll 1d4: 1) Intense irritability 2) Combustion 3) Things from nightmares and dreams come to life 4) Monstrous Metamorphosis
15. A doctor rides aboard with a cure to a plague. The priests of the Plague God intend to kill him and destroy the cure.
16. A female Dragon and her young attack.
17. A terrorist has set a bomb somewhere on the train. He himself, rides aboard, looking to become a martyr for his cause, but he knows where the bomb is and how to disarm it.
18. A train car has turned into a portal to a hellish dimension. Monsters from that realm escape onto the train.
19. Bandits raid the train. They are here for what lies in a mysterious sealed car whether it be a person or treasure.
20. The one magical item that can destroy an evil magical ruler is hidden by some halfling passengers. His wraith servants, led by a powerful necromancer attack the train to claim it.