Into the Weird Blue Yonder: Weird Monster Generation

I have a few different posts about monsters and weirdness that I have been percolating in my brain vat. The Weird is often chimeric. This defiance of boundaries and classification is a part of the way the Weird attacks the means by which we orient ourselves in the world. I have an essay on the subject up my sleeve. For these kinds of monsters: a table is a perfect means of generation. You might alter their flavor or goals to match the Weird Power that you want to ally this monster to or you might just let it stand. Nonaligned monsters are possible. Not everything must be a servant of a Weird Power, though these might be servants of even stranger things. These tables will be expanded, probably to 1d100s each in the final book.

by hunterkiller on DeviantArt used without permission

These are mostly meant to be evocative descriptions that you can fill in the blanks in order to create your own creatures.

This button is courtesy of the fabulous and magnanimous Angus Warman: Give him a look!

So these tables will fill the blanks in this phrase:

a table I, table II table III with table IV that table V.

Table I (1d20):

  1. tall
  2. obese
  3. short
  4. hunched
  5. shuffling
  6. shambling
  7. slithering
  8. extremely thin
  9. massive
  10. twisted
  11. loping
  12. writhing
  13. jerkily-walking
  14. prowling
  15. broad
  16. scaly
  17. dark
  18. formless
  19. creeping
  20. still
Table II (1d20):
  1. weeping
  2. antlered
  3. screaming
  4. snuffling
  5. singing
  6. humming
  7. shaggy
  8. skinless
  9. hairless
  10. oddly distorted
  11. groaning
  12. cackling
  13. silent
  14. silently-screaming
  15. toothy
  16. masked
  17. hooded
  18. horned
  19. bloody
  20. meaty
Table III (1d20):
  1. man
  2. mass of flesh
  3. beast
  4. spider
  5. insect
  6. thing
  7. bird
  8. ape
  9. corpse
  10. deer
  11. gelatinous mass
  12. woman
  13. humanoid
  14. child
  15. hound
  16. serpent
  17. bear
  18. crab
  19. tentacled-thing
  20. fish
Table IV (1d20):
  1. horribly long arms
  2. ancient scars
  3. alien tattoos
  4. tumorous growths
  5. countless limbs
  6. many eyes
  7. a single unblinking eye
  8. an ancient weapon
  9. blinking mechanical implants
  10. water flowing of their body 
  11. blood flowing of their body
  12. no face
  13. no eyes
  14. no mouth
  15. eyes on their stomach
  16. a too-wide smile
  17. hideously exaggerated sex characteristics
  18. swarming insects
  19. two heads
  20. many mouths
Table V: (1d20)
  1. eats dreams
  2. steals children
  3. infects its victims, turning them into something else
  4. causes rot
  5. feeds on sorrow
  6. feeds on fear
  7. is an extension of a greater organism 
  8. causes mutation
  9. eats people
  10. drinks blood
  11. hears thoughts
  12. hates light
  13. pretends to be human
  14. lives in mirrors
  15. moves in the fog
  16. abducts people
  17. radiates cold
  18. cannot be remembered when they are not seen
  19. lays eggs in their victims
  20. whispers dark secrets
You might also add: "and serves blank." And roll on the table of Weird Powers.

I don't really think this is enough to truly tackle weird creatures, though. The real power to create strange creatures comes from understanding what makes the Weird so weird.

Expect probably a lengthy post on the subject sometime soon. 


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